Play Through The Game

 When I desperately want to know why something hard is happening, I remember, Jesus had all the answers and He still wept. - Lysa Terkeurst

    I try to find ways to write devotions that aren’t only built around what’s going on in my life, but it’s honestly the place I’ve been having to learn the most. I talked about Job, and he is still ranking high on people I relate to. He questioned God, he struggled, he was hurting, confused, and tired. He didn’t have much else to give but the trials kept coming anyway. People struggle with the book of Job. It’s contents breed room for the question, “is God just?” It seems like an extremely unfair scenario. I was watching The Bible Projects video on Job and they explained that the book never really answers the question of why. However, it does reveal that our scope is too small to make that judgment. If we had to micromanage all that was going on in the world in a way we saw fit, even for just a day, we would be exhausted and want to quit. No one would be happy because everyone’s opinion is different on what Justice looks like. What is the best punishment for sins? Do you use positive or negative reinforcement to teach? What does discipline look like? Ultimately, God is bigger than we ever could imagine. He sees a greater scope than we ever could. Our tiny lens of seeing the world is not nearly good enough to judge God in His work. Yes, Job questioned God, but he also went to God for answers. He struggled, but he prayed. He was confused, but he was willing to hear God out. God understands that it is difficult, he understands that we want answers, and we want to be in the know. But nothing would genuinely be accomplished if we just skipped to the end because we knew it. If you knew whether or not your team was going to win the game in the end, you may not give the same effort or utilize that time the same. If you’ve already been told the movie or the books ending, it’s not as influential to go through the rest. We probably all think that life would be so much better if we knew the answers, but like the quote said, I don’t think it would change things as much as we hope. Things would still hurt. Things would still be upsetting. All the better reason to leave it in God’s hands and understanding, lean into Him, and let Him lead us. Let the person who sees, lead the blind, don’t just go to other blind friends. 

Talk Is Cheap, Time For Action

 Honestly this time of grieving is a time of applying. I’ve written and worked on a lot of devotions that may say the right things, but this week is the time to practice them, put them into action. I know it’s small, but I challenge you to take some step this week, whatever's been on your heart whether it’s in attitude, or action, and implement it. Give yourself the space and dedication to fulfill it. Write it down somewhere, or have someone to hold you accountable to it. Have a great week of growth, I’ll try to get back on track with devotions as soon I can! I love you all and there is nothing you can do about it!

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God of Peace

 This devo was actually for the week I missed. With everything going on we forgot the computer and couldn't access things without the saved passwords!

I’ve decided to cheat again…if you’ve seen the recent updates I know you will understand. This week has hit me hard and I’ve struggled to even look at my phone. This devotion I had written while in another stage of my life that felt very similar to this one. It was at a time that new trials seemed to pop up like weeds and trusting God was never more important while never being more difficult. I’m praying God uses my discomfort, my dependence on Him to get through the tears and trials. I am aiming to be “spiritually fed so I will not be emotionally led” (Tara Bialek). 

Hello everyone, I know it has been a while since I last posted. I must confess that I have been slow to get it done due to traveling and stress. I have had a different devotion ready to post but I never felt like it was complete. Lately, I have been dealing with a lot of depression and confusion. I am anxious of next steps and confused about them, and where they will lead. I have felt like there are fifty open tabs in my head and I only know what five are about. I feel comfortable and yet that comfort makes me uncomfortable because there seems to  always be something around the the corner. The truth is that I am terrified. Terrified of the "what-ifs" and the fact that I "could" never get over my anxiety and depression. At the same time, I am scared to lose it because it is the feeling I am used to. I know that medicine doesn't work for me. The one thing that I have left to depend on is God. Though it may seem like things have only gotten worse, I am trying to look through God's eyes. I see that I have gone through anxiety, depression, OCD, possibly PTSD, and suicidal thoughts, and yet, I am still standing here alive and with God who has helped me through it all and will continue to do so. I don't say that to brag, I say it from a spot of brokenness in hopes to encourage others to know they can go through it all with God's helping hand. I also see that through my pain and brokenness, I have been able to share and connect with people not only through this blog, but in my everyday life. Whatever you are going through in life, God can and will help you to overcome, grow, strengthen, and reach others through the broken pieces. Our talents and trials can be used to God's glory. He is our shelter and guide. Trust God, He is waiting for you, arms wide open to all. 

I also want to encourage everyone to try and look at your life, circumstances, and trials through God's eyes. God is our role model that was the hero to our stories. He saved us by defeating and overcoming death itself by being hung on a cross and rising again three days later. All we have to do is believe in Him and we shall be saved. 

Isaiah 41:10

So Do Not Fear, For I Am With You; Do Not Be Dismayed, For I Am Your God. I Will Strengthen You And Help You; I Will Uphold You With My Righteous Right Hand.

Joshua 1:9

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Isaiah 12:2 

Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, the Lord Himself, is my strength and my defense; He has become my salvation.”

1 Peter 5:7

Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.

Philippians  4:13

I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.

Try writing down some of these verses down so that you can reference back to them through the trials, pain, ,heartache, and joy. We are children of God, the King of Kings, Lord of Lords, all powerful, loving Emanuel. 

Jehovah Shalom- Peace.