Monday, January 27, 2014

January 27, 2013 - The Thrill of Victory (But What About The Agony of Defeat?)

Lately I am spending a lot of time around youth sports; my youngest is playing for her 3rd grade team and I am trying to establish our ministry in a new location… And as usual I find myself in many of the same discussions I have been in throughout the years on philosophies of youth athletics. There seems to be a constant tension between competition and complacency… between the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat…

Basically I find that often as the church we find ourselves buying into worldly ideas from both sides of the spectrum.  You see in the world there are some that compete with a win-at-any-cost attitude and then others that want everyone to be happy and get a trophy (and never experience the agony of defeat.) We need to be careful of either extreme…

Now I know that believers will, for the most part, agree that the win-at-any-cost attitude is not God-honoring… yet go to any church league or Christian school league and you will be reminded of how askew our priorities are; go to any youth rec league and I bet you will have trouble distinguishing who the parents are that are professing Christians. I believe Christian athletes should be the hardest working, toughest competitors in sports… doing all (word or deed) to the glory of God (Col. 3:17). The purpose of a game involves attempting to outscore one’s opponent and win. There is nothing wrong with competing; yet when competition causes one’s attitude as a player or fan to be non-Christ-like then that one is in sin.

The other extreme is that of complacency and trying to make sure that competition is removed so everyone can feel happy. The problem is that is not real life! Life is full of setbacks and heartaches and part of our job as parents, coaches, teachers, and ministers is trying to teach how to handle those setbacks in a God-honoring way. (I don’t want to burst anyone’s bubble but even when you don’t keep score, the kids still know who is talented / gifted in the competition and who is not. They even realize which team probably scored the most even without a scoreboard…) When the “everyone’s a winner / everyone gets a trophy” philosophy pops up, I want to throw up – it is simply not true in sports or in life…

I just read a great blog article about this concept that is so prevalent in our culture. The blogger, Matt Walsh, determines the two outcomes of this philosophy. (See -http://themattwalshblog.com/2014/01/23/if-i-cant-accept-you-at-your-worst-then-maybe-you-should-stop-being-so-horrible/ - for a good read.)

First is the self-aware person that is embarrassed by undeserved/unwarranted accolades (what he calls “pity trophies.”)

Second is the one that is not self-aware and is fooled by these accolades and buys into the hype. Walsh’s description of them is very accurate and evident in this world of entitlement: “They will look at those trophies and gold stars, unearned and undeserved, and begin to develop an inflated image of themselves. What is born from this is not confidence, but narcissism and arrogance. These are the kids in possession of the much-heralded “self-esteem.” Indeed, they hold themselves in high esteem. Why? Because they are themselves. They are spectacular, beautiful, athletic, and brilliant, all by their very nature. Whatever they do is the best thing anyone has ever done, simply because it was done by them. Whoever comes in contact with them ought to be grateful for the privilege. Success and happiness is what they are due, and the entire universe is in their debt. They are the people who expect the Lord to descend from heaven and hand them a game ball and a participation trophy every day.” He goes on to say, “Shielded from failure, insulated from criticism, covered in emotional bubble wrap, our kids are venturing out into the world with little discipline and even less humility.”
I am sure I will not win any father of the year awards but this past Saturday following my 3rd grade daughter’s game I drew some uncomfortable laughter from those around me. When she approached me I put my arm around her and said, “You played awful today.” (Are you feeling uneasy about now?) But then I went on to say, “But isn’t it great to know that my love for you is not based upon how well you play basketball?” She played poorly and that created teachable moments – not opportunities to flatter her (lie to her.) Proverbs 26:28 says that “a flattering mouth works ruin.”

The Christian message itself is based upon our inadequacies and shortcomings. It is based upon our failure. It is based upon us losing self-esteem and realizing we fall short (Romans 3:23; Ephesians 2:1). It is based upon two incredible words found in Ephesians 2:4: “But God…” He loved us not based upon our performance but in spite of our poor performance.

Sports provide us a great teaching platform about God and about life…

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